Comparison-itis
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Reader, if you ever compare yourself to others and it's making you feel bad about yourself, I'm going to share a simple mindset shift to kick "comparison-itis" for good. (Seriously, bookmark this one because you'll want to return to it again and again). Why we compareEver looked at someone who's way ahead of you and thought "I'll never be as good as them"? You begin to question yourself - your ideas, your business... even your own self-worth. Or maybe you've seen someone a few steps behind and it's made you feel better about yourself, in some weird, egotistical way. The key word here is ego. Comparing yourself to others is nothing more than your ego trying to assert itself. The ego can be a rabid beast, bent purely on your survival. And when it feels threatened, it lashes out. How we react to comparison-itisWhen we see someone ahead of us we might think "screw them, they just got lucky" or "I bet they must have done something unethical to get to where they are" And when we look behind us we might think "ha ha, that person just hasn't got what it takes. Sucker!" I share this with you because these are the thoughts I've had in the past about people ahead and behind me (I'm not proud, I'm just being real with you). And I had to recognise that these thoughts are not only untrue, they're also very harmful to my personal development and own self-esteem. There has to be a better, more positive way to compare... Cracking the comparison-itis quandaryFirst of all you'll need to accept that comparing yourself to others is natural. We're a social species who've evolved in groups. Understanding "our place" has been key to our development as individuals and societies. So don't beat yourself up when you look at others with judgement. But here's the trick: what you think, and how you judge, matters. Here are two reframes for comparing, better:
The message here is that you'll never do away with comparing yourself to others. But you can totally control how you compare. The emotions and energy behind it. I hope you'll agree that these reframes are much healthier. They're more productive and they'll actually enhance your self-esteem. Curious to hear your thoughts on this. Do you compare yourself to others? If you do, what's the story you tell yourself? And is it a helpful one? Thanks, Matt Saunders P.s. in case you missed it, I'm launching an agency! I'll be sharing everything as I go - my wins, losses, strategies and income. You can follow the journey here. |
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